Internet surfer extraordinaire

1 . A Jew gets to heaven after passing and meets god. The Jew tells god a Holocaust joke, but god doesn't laugh. The Jew shrugs and says, "I guess you had to be there to understand".  or Me: "Man, I am so well rested." Friend: "How well did you sleep?" Me: "Like God during the holocaust" or  Hitler goes to a fortune teller and asks her what day he'll die. The fortune teller says "You will die on a Jewish holiday." Hitler says angrily, "Which holiday is that?" The fortuneteller smiles and says "Any day you die will be a Jewish holiday day". or An old Jew is dying, all the family gathered at his bed and he says he's got a one, final wish: a two sugar tea. The oldest son wonders why with two sugars and the old Jew replies: because at home I always had with one, when visiting others with three but I like tea with two sugars.  2 .  On his deathbed an old jew says yo his wife: O...

Jack Ma is the chinese billionaire who owns Alibaba and who is worth around 33.400.000.000$. The Alibaba guru has probably the best quote about poor people: " The worst people to serve are the Poor people. Give them free, they think it’s a trap. Tell them it’s a small investment, they’ll say can’t earn much. Tell them to come in big, they’ll say no money. Tell them try new things, they’ll say no experience. Tell them it’s traditional business, they’ll say hard to do. Tell them it’s a new business model, they’ll say it’s MLM. Tell them to run a shop, they’ll say no freedom. Tell them run new busines s, they’ll say no expertise. They do have somethings in common: They love to ask google, listen to friends who are as hopeless as them, they think more than an university professor and do less than a blind man. Just ask them, what can they do. They won’t be able to answer you. My conclusion: Instead of your heart beats faster, why not you just act faster a bit; instead of...

Which movie smashed the box office in 2018? Here's a list and I added their trailers (in case you need them): 1. Avengers: Infinity War : $2,048,710,150 (not a big surprise really. more money for Disney )  2. Black Panther : $1,346,913,161  (this was a surprise. more money for Disney ) 3. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom : $1,304,944,060  (dinosaurs are back! good for them!) 4. Incredibles 2 : $1,242,598,825  (good to have the family back! more money for Disney ) 5. Venom : $855,156,907  (all that Sony needed was some Tom Hardy.) 6. Mission: Impossible - Fallout : $791,017,452  (another Mission Impossible movie about an unkillable secret agent. how can he still be a SECRET agent, I don't know) 7. Aquaman : $751,775,000 (a much needed breakthrough from DC) 8. Deadpool 2 : $741,582,901  (good for superheroes movies. more money for Disney!) 9. Bohemian Rhapsody: $702,552,268 (good for...

There are many funny soviet jokes. Here are my top25 communist jokes that I found: 1.  Zhukov angrily exits Stalin's office. In the corridor, he swears -  What a fucking cunt with a mustache! NKVD's officer guarding the door noticed that and sai - What did you say, comrade? Zhukov said he had said nothing. - Well, let's go back to comrade Stalin's office to talk about it. So they went to the office and the NKVD officer reports: - Comrade Stalin, while being on duty I overheard that Marshal Zhukov said "What a fucking cunt with a mustache!" Stalin looked at Zhukov, and asked - Whom did you have in mind, comrade? Zhukov responded immediately - What do you mean, Hitler, of course! Then Stalin looked at NKVD officer: - And you, comrade, whom did you have in mind? 2.   "Good news, comrade, your application for a car has been approved! Your brand new Zhighuli will be delivered 10 years, 8 months, and 26 days from today!", say...

Do you watch games on twitch? Do you have a twitch account? If so, you can make money online, not much, but still beer money. All you have to do is to follow, watch twitch channels. You can make an account here . Every time you follow one of he channels that pay you to follow them or just watch them, you receive "credits". These credits you can reclaim as $$$ after a threshold.